Transformers: Alternate Timelines
by Irrepressable
Summary: Long after the destruction of earth, the Decepticons and Autobots are in a tenuous alliance. Humans have been thawed from stasis 25 years ago. With an enemy recognized, teams consisting of one or more of these forces jump from dimension to dimension. Will an alliance between the two races lead to their salvation or their destruction?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Enter the Rookie

_Long ago, Autobots and the Decepticons were at war. After millions of years of fighting, they fought the final leg of the war on a strange blue planet called Earth. My fellow Autobots fought bravely, but the Decepticons had us constantly on the defense. Fortunately, we found many very useful allies among the planet's sentient species, a race of small organic creatures known as humans. Though small and quite... squishy, humans proved to be very creative and tenacious. It was those traits that allowed us to finally gain some sort of advantage over the Decepticons. Finally, there was some chance of an Autobot victory. Unfortunately, it was not to be. During the final battle between our then-leader Optimus Prime and the ruthless Decepticon leader Megatron, there was a strange and terrible occurrence that shall forevermore be known as the Event. There was a flash in the sky and a strange vortex, similar to a space bridge. From that vortex, __**he**__ emerged. This terrible foe, originating from some unknown dimension, was unfathomably powerful. __**He**__ killed Optimus Prime and Megatron in a cowardly and under-handed fashion. With the faction leaders dead, both sides were at a loss. __**His**__ forces decimated both Decepticons and Autobots alike. The Decepticon second-in-command, Starscream, attemted a foolhardy attack on the terrible enemy. The unfortunate seeker hadn't a chance. It was not long before __**he**__ turned on Earth itself. Forests were razed. Mountains were blown apart. Entire cities were leveled. The planet's destruction was iminent. Because we had sworn to protect our human allies, we tried to save as many as we could. Despite our best efforts, we were able to save less than fifty thousand before the planet was destroyed. Not knowing what to do, we put the humans into stasis until we had the resources to truly help them. For reasons I myself do not understand, I was chosen by the Matrix to become the new Autobot leader. I then turned to the Decepticons and their new leader, Soundwave, to negotiate a temporary cease-fire. Though known for being a very sadistic Decepticon, Soundwave was also a very rational mech. The war was put on hold until __**he**__ could be dealt with. Now, many thousands of years later, the cease-fire still stands, as __**he**__ has not yet been defeated. Every time either side comes close, __**he**__ disappears into another timeline. The best Autobot and Decepticons scientists searched for a solution for several centuries before, only twenty-five years ago, they finally developed the technology to travel into other timelines to combat __**him**__ and __**his**__ minions. Thus came about the founding of the Jumpers, a team of Autobots, Decepticons, and humans that had been awakened from stasis shortly before the technology was developed. It is the Jumpers' mission to travel into other alternate timelines to combat __**his**__ forces, and perhaps prevent tragedies like the one that befell Earth. Now we look to you, Autobot Goldbug, to further this cause by aiding the Jumper team you have been assigned to. Report to the Jumper ship the _Nameless_ at 0800 megacycles to meet Team White Noise. The team leader, White Noise, is a talented flier and a skilled warrior. I have the greatest confidence that you will be in good servos. I wish you the best of luck._

-Rodimus Prime

The other orbital cycle, Goldbug had stared as the message he had received for several long seconds before letting out a loud whoop. He had been accepted into the Jumpers! Good bye, no bot taking him seriously! So long, everybot constantly comparing him to his brother! Hello, time-and-reality-travelling heroics! The golden minibot had waited eagerly for megacycles for the next orbital cycle to come around, barely calming down enough to recharge. Now he was heading down to the space docks to meet the team leader, a flier named White Noise.  
He walked down the docks, looking for a ship called the _Nameless_. It did not take him long to find the ship, and standing in front of it was a 17-foot-tall white and red Autobot flier, whom Goldbug would guess to be going over some sort of checklist on the data tablet he held in one servo. This must be White Noise. Standing his nine-foot frame as straight as possible, the minibot walked over to the slender mech. With a salute, he made his presence known. "Autobot Goldbug reporting for duty, sir!"  
Glancing up from his tablet, the mech whom Goldbug assumed to be White Noise gave him a quick once-over. The mech had a noticeable accent, which a human would probably say sounded Australian. "Hmm. Bumblebee's younger brother, right?" he commented.  
Goldbug bristled internally. He had held some hope that he would be able to go at least a few orbital cycles without being compared to his sibling. Forcing down his annoyance, the minibot replied, "Yes, sir."  
"Let's get this over with, then." the white and red mech replied with a sight, walking up the ramp and into the ship's cargo bay.  
Immediately upon entering the ship, Goldbug nearly tripped over a small, black and dark purple figure. "Hey, watch where you're going, you thick-bolted glitch-head!" A female voice shouted.  
"Sorry!" Goldbug yelped, and did a double-take when he saw that the voice belonged to a human. She was about five feet, ten inches tall. Her skin was a light brown color, and her eyes were brown. Her dark brown hair was cut very short, and she appeared to have a case of what humans called 'helmet hair'. She was wearing a suit of black and dark purple unisex body armor, with a Decepticon insignia emblazoned on the right side of the flat chest plate, with the Cybertronian characters for the Jumper Corps underneath it.  
With a faint smirk, the white and red mech introduced the two. "Goldbug, meet our pilot, Erika Vasquez."  
"Call me Ricky." the pilot said with a cocky grin, "And apology accepted."  
"Oh, okay." Goldbug replied. He glanced at the human, puzzled. Gesturing towards the insignia on her chestplate, he asked, "What's with the, uh..."  
The minibot's confusion was not without reason, since humans were traditionally Autobot allies. "Oh, that." White Noise explained, "You know how Decepticons sometimes poach talent from the Autobots? Well, Soundwave himself took notice of her skills as a pilot and offered her a position. Though technically affiliated with the Decepticons, Vazquez works for the Jumpers now, so faction is effectively moot until we get **him**."  
One of the doors slid open with a whoosh, and a 24-foot-tall blue Decepticon strode into the cargo bay. "Ricky, get your aft in gear. We take off in a megacycle."  
"Don't get your tailpipe in a twist, B.D." Ricky Vasquez huffed, turning around and walking through the still-open door to head for the bridge. The door slid closed behind her.  
"This is Breakdown," the red and white flier introduced the gold minibot to the powerfully built Decepticon, "He's second in command of the _Nameless_."  
Breakdown glanced over at Goldbug, sizing him up. Judging from the expression on his red faceplates, he was not impressed. "This the rookie, 'Fix?"  
"He'll learn." The red and white mech replied, "If not, we'll send his remains to Bumblebee and wait for someone else to be assigned to this team."  
"Hey, stop talking about me like I'm not here!" Goldbug whined, and suddenly a thought hit him. "Wait, why'd he call you 'Fix'? You're the team leader, White Noise, aren't you?"  
A perplexed look alighted on the faceplates of both Breakdown and the Autobot flier for a fraction of a second before Breakdown burst out in raucous laughter and the red and white mech brought a servo to his own face with a loud smack. "He's not White Noise," Breakdown snickered, "He's our medic, Quick Fix."  
Another 'whoosh' sounded as the door slid open once again, and in walked one of the scariest Decepticons Goldbug had ever seen. It was a tall femme, about Breakdown's height. She was mostly dark navy blue, with black arms and thighs and a gold stripe on each shoulder and to each side of her blood red visor. A pair of dark navy wings protruded from her back, pointing downward in a V-shape like some sort of cape. Her servos ended with wickedly sharp claws. Rather than the more common plantigrade, the intimidating flier possessed digigrade legs, each ending with a clawed foot. The femme's dark armor was covered in scars, and her facial features were hidden by a dark navy blue battle mask, with a thin gold stripe on each half of the mask. Instead of being of a boxy build, or even a softer-angled build like most other femmes Goldbug had met, the dark flier was all hard edges and sharp angles. She was frightening, even predatory-looking.  
Gesturing towards the femme, Breakdown added, "_That's_ White Noise."  
White Noise approached the rest of the team, pausing to scrutinize the newest member. As his visor-covered optics met the dark blue flier's impenetrable blood red visor, he was filled with terror and was unable to suppress a frightened squeak. For a moment, he thought he might spring a leak in sheer terror. Those few nanoclicks seemed to last an eternity before White Noise finally spoke. Her voice was low and coarse, sounding more like a rough whisper. If Goldbug were to hazard a guess, he would speculate that the rasping quality of her speech was the result of some sort of permenant damage to her vocal synthesizer.  
"Breakdown, get back to the bridge. The _Nameless_ will be ready to take off in thirty clicks." She growled, though the sound was because of her damaged voice rather than being an actual growl. Goldbug froze when White Noise turned to him again. "You'll be monitoring communications." She rasped before turning around and heading to the bridge herself.  
As he followed the team leader out of the cargo bay, Goldbug took some time to ponder his situation. This was certainly not what he expected. With a human assigned as the ship's pilot, one would expect that a Jumper team would have an Autobot as a leader. Instead, he found himself on a team whose command structure consisted of not one, but _two_ Decepticons, one of them terrifying beyond all reason. His only consolation was the fact that a) faction was supposed to matter little in the Jumpers, and b) the fact that they were on the same team might just make Breakdown and White Noise marginally less likely to kill him. He thought back to the message from Rodimus, and how the Prime had wished him the best of luck.  
'Best of luck indeed.' Goldbug thought to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

The OC named Omar belongs to my friend on deviantArt, Israel42.

* * *

Chapter 2: Team Blackarachnia

_Bumblebee,_

You probably already know that I've been accepted by the Jumper Corps. I've been assigned to Team White Noise. It's been three orbital cycles since I've joined and I'm still alive, as you can probably tell from me sending you this message. The pilot, Erika Vasquez, is a bit strange. She's a human, but she can read, write, and even speak Cybertronian. She says it's because she has special vocals designed to do so, because her original vocals were damaged beyond any hope of future use in an accident of some sort. I think I will try to become her friend, like you did with that human boy back before the Event.  
The medic, Quick Fix, is the only other Autobot on the team. He seems to be annoyed at me, but I don't know why. I wish he would use smaller words. Could someone

_**please**__ tell me what 'vacuous' means?  
The team leader and her appointed second-in-command are both Decepticons. I think Breakdown may secretly be a nervous mech. He's always watching everybot on the team, especially Captain White Noise. That Decepticon is terrifying beyond all reason, as you can see in the image file I've attatched to this message. She doesn't talk much, especially after the ship has left the space docks. Her voice sounds damaged. She talks in short sentances, using as few words as possible. I wonder if it hurts when she talks?  
I'm going on my first Jumper mission in a few megacycles. I'll send you another message when I can._

Your brother,  
Goldbug

The gold and black Autobot signed his letter, having gotten up a half a megacycle earlier than usual so he would have time to write it. The wooshing sound of one of the doors to the refueling area of the ship opening nudged Goldbug's attention away from the data pad he was using to write a message to his brother. A loud yawn sounded, and none other than the resident human, Erika Vasquez, walked through the door. Goldbug's eyes widened in surprise and confusion, and he off-handedly noted that her short, dark brown hair was still damp and his scanners detected traces of the mild cleanser that the human used to clean herself. That was normal- he knew from the water-usage charts that she took a shower every morning. What confused him was her sate of complete nudity. Utterly nonplussed, she walked past her impromptu audience to the human-sized refueling station. She then proceeded to calmly pour herself a cup of synthesized coffee, grab a nutrient bar, and walk back through the door- presumably to return to her quarters. Glancing up at Breakdown, who hadn't reacted at all and was calmly sipping from a cube of energon, a wide-eyed Goldbug asked, "Is that _normal_?"  
Wiping a bit of energon from the corner of his mouth with the back of his servo, Breakdown replied, "For Ricky, yeah, that's pretty normal."  
"I had read that humans were uncomfortable going without their coverings." a confused Goldbug stated, sliding down from his chair to retrieve his own daily energon ration.  
With a shrug, the large blue 'Con recalled, "'Cording to 'Fix, Ricky was left on the Autobot ship when she was three, and didn't see another human for ten stellar cycles. The way I figure it, it's prob'ly near impossible to instill nudity taboos in a kid who was basically raised by a species that doesn't _need_ to wear clothes. She's only naked like this after a shower. I don't think anybot knows why humans get their plating in such a twist about it." Pausing to take a sip of his own energon, Breakdown mused, "I dunno- humans are weird."

Once the two remaining members of Jumper Team #12, AKA Team White Noise, had finished refueling, they headed straight for the bridge. Shortly after they arrived, so too did the now-clothed Erika. She had not put on her body armor, but she was wearing her flight suit and combat boots. White Noise and Quick Fix were already there, waiting for them. Quick Fix was always up early in case of medical emergencies. As for White Noise, well, Goldbug wasn't quite sure if the monstrous-looking Decepticon even recharged _at all_.  
Everyone took there respective places, with Erika riding a device similar to a scissor-lift up to the the elevated seat where the ship's controls and navigation system were located. Goldbug took his own place at communications. He knew the routine.  
It was barely more than a click after he sat down when a 'ping' sounded. He looked at the screen of his console, which indicated that they were being hailed by another Jumper ship. Turning to White Noise, Goldbug stated, "Captain, we're being hailed by Jumper Team #6."  
"On screen." White Noise growled, her voice still as low and rough as ever.  
Goldbug's servos quickly flew over his console, quickly responding to the communications request. The holographic viewscreen popped up, taking up most of the front of the bridge.  
Taking up most of the screen was a purple, yellow, and silver femme that could only be described as 'cutesy'. In the most sickeningly sweet, high-pitched, _bubbly_ voice Goldbug had ever heard, the femme piped up, "Hiya, Shark-Face!"  
White Noise let out one of her now-familiar low, bestial growls. This one, however, sounded quite a bit more menacing. A deeper but still noticably feminine voice from off-screen spoke up, "Don't antagonize her, Thunderblast. If she doesn't kill you, I will- especially if you keep taking up the viewscreen!"  
"Fine." Thunderblast pouted, panning out and revealing the rest of the crew. Piloting the ship was a grey, winged femme with a facemask. A tough-looking orange and black femme was sitting down, polishing a weapon and looking ready to kick the aft of anyone who looked at her funny. The fourth femme in the group had what was arguably the most pristinely maintained red paint job Goldbug had ever seen, and was probably the most attractive of the five femmes, even if she did kind of look like an elf. The fifth femme had an air of authority about her- she was probably the leader. She was mostly purple and black, with a black and gold helm through which you could see four glowing, red optics. She also appeared to have two gold-tipped black spider legs protruding from behind her shoulders. She was a beastformer- specifically, an Insecticon- Goldbug realized.  
"Blackarachnia." White Noise rasped, acknowledging her with as few words as possible.  
"White Noise." Blackarachnia replied cooly, "We both hate small talk, so I'll get straight to the spark of the matter. During our recent mission in Universe 7FA-2K9, our scanners detected a brief flare of a powerful and unusual energy signiature. An energy source this strong could be of intrest to **him**. Though my team is more suited scientifically for studying this, we are poorly equipped to deal with an attack from **him** or one of **his** investigative teams."  
"I could take 'em." groused the orange femme.  
The white-faced, shiny red femme let out a laugh and snarked, "Yes, I'm certain you'd be able to frighten them offline with your _horrid_ paint job, Omar."  
"Or, we could find out how I look after I rip out your spark chamber and wear it as a necklace, _Knock Out_!" Omar snarled  
"SHUT UP!" Blackarachnia roared in an impressive display of that famed Insecticon temper. Bringing a servo to her face, she growled, "Dear Primus, why do I have to lead a crew of such infurating _malfunctions_? I swear, the only _remotely_ normal one of you four is Nightbird, and she was built on Earth! By humans!"  
After several threats of envenomation and/or death to the bulk of her crew, Blackarachnia had returned to the calm, professional state she was in prior to the minor verbal skirmish between Knock Out and Omar. Clearing her throat audibly, she continued the previous conversation. "Ahem. I'm sure you already know that this mission has already been cleared. You go investigate the energy source and, if necessary, intervene to protect it from **his** forces. Make sure to collect detailed scans and send them to the _Kickback_ so Knock Out and I can analyze them. Blackarachnia out."  
The image disappeared and was replaced only by static. Goldbug quickly deactivated the holographic viewscreen and glanced over at White Noise. Her blood red visor and blue mask as unreadable as ever, the dark navy blue captain growled an order to the pilot. "Vasquez, dimension bridge. Universe 7FA-2K9."  
"You got it, White Noise." Erika replied, following orders without a complaint.  
As they neared the dimension bridge, the machine powered up and a swirling vortex appeared between the two massive prongs. "Cloaking device on." White Noise rasped.  
The cloaking device was quickly engaged just in time for the _Nameless_ to pass through the vortex and into Universe 7FA-2K9. Though the ship itself was invisible, the city below them could easily be seen on the viewscreen, which Goldbug had brought back up on White Noise's orders. In the corner of the screen, it read: 22ND CENTURY EARTH. LOCATION- DETROIT, MICHIGAN.

* * *

Before anything could get done, everybody needed to get an Earth vehicle mode. It was for this reason that Goldbug made his way stealthily through the city- well, he thought it was stealthy. In truth, it was nothing short of a miracle that no one had noticed the gold and black Autobot stumbling through the alleys, loudly humming the theme from _Mission Impossible_. As he turned a corner, he heard a young male voice arguing with an older one, apparently over an old, lime green car.  
"Please, dad! You can't make me drive this thing! You _can't_!"  
"Son, this car has been in our family since 1974! My daddy gave it to me as my first car, and his daddy gave it to him, and his daddy-"  
"Dad. Dad. Have you even _looked_ at this thing?"  
"It's a family heirloom!"  
"Dad, it's a _Gremlin_."  
While the two humans were arguing, Goldbug took the time to quickly scan the vehicle in question. Transforming into vehicle mode, he sped off, driving past the two humans.  
Gesturing towards the disappearing gold and black car, the older male shouted, "See, son? _He's_ driving a Gremlin!"

* * *

Over lake Erie, Dave flew his Cessna 172 on what was supposed to be just another boring, safe, utterly mundane job. Suddenly, the photographer that he was taking over the lakes let out a loud shriek of alarm. Immediately, the 54-year-old pilot jumped slightly, and checked his equipment to see if something was wrong. He wasn't even done checking when the photographer screamed, "WE'RE BEING ATTACKED BY ALIENS! OH GOD, I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN!"  
"Cecil, we're not being attacked by aliens." Dave groaned, sick of the familiar passenger's paranoia. "If we were being attacked by aliens, there'd be lasers firing or something."  
Suddenly, the entire jet was enveloped by a strange light. Simultaneously, Dave and Cecil both screamed, "ALIENS!"  
As quickly as the light had appeared, it was gone, with both humans completely unharmed. A red and white Cessna 172, almost identical to the one Dave was piloting, shot past them at a speed that the single-engine light aircraft would not normally be capable of. On its side, the two humans could see a red, mask-like symbol. "Oh." Cecil said, panting, "At least it's one of the good aliens!"  
Rubbing his grey moustache, Dave then let out an annoyed sigh and grumbled, "I never had to deal with this alien robot shit back in Iowa..."

* * *

Elsewhere near Detroit, a pair of teenagers named Christy and Trevor were up where one could normally enjoy a lovely view of the city. Instead, they were in the bed of Trevor's father's restored 2011 Dodge Ram Power Wagon, which was currently equipped with off-road tires. What they were currently doing could be best described as 'necking'. Breaking away from their passionate kiss, Christy giggled, and asked, "Oh, god, Trevor- let's put on some music!"  
"I think my dad left some of my grandpa's old CDs in the truck." replied the skinny teenage boy, standing up and opening what he called 'the thingy in the rear window' to crawl into the cab. "You like the retro stuff, right, Christy?"  
"Yeah!" Christy replied, "what do you got?"  
"Give me a minute!" Trevor called back, searching through the glove compartment for anything interesting, but not coming up with any remotely familiar artists. He picked up one of the clear plastic CD cases and briefly scrutinized it. "Who the feck is Johnny Cash?" he mumbled before tossing it out the open window.  
"Uh, Trevor?" Christy asked, sounding confused.  
"What?" Trevor called back, not even bothering to look up.  
"I think that plant I smoked is working, 'cuz there was this weird light just now, and I don't think that blue pickup truck was there a minute ago-"  
"Christy, it's not really there. You're just stoned."  
"Oh, okay." Christy giggled dreamily as she watched an arm transform out of the blue truck's side. The giant hand carefully grabbed the CD before transforming back into the side of the cab. When _Ring of Fire_ began to play loudly, Trevor jumped in surprise, hitting his head accidentally. The confused teenage boy looked out the window just in time to see a driverless blue 2011 Dodge Ram Power Wagon drive away on off-road tires.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Several hours later, the team reunited in a discreet location. Breakdown and Goldbug were able to drive there quite easily, but the location in the woods was a difficult location for Quickfix to arrive because there wasn't enough space to land as a Cessna 172. Instead, he transformed mid-air and landed on the ground in his bipedal form. Now, all they had to do was wait for their leader. After another hour of waiting, a swirling green vortex formed a few dozen yards away, and White Noise walked out of it. Judging from the cockpit in her chest and her wider wings, she had found her alt mode. "You're late." Quick Fix stated tersely.  
"Suitable alt mode unavailable." rasped White Noise, "Side trip was required. Lockheed Martin F-35 Lightning II acquired as alt mode."  
"Well, we're all here." Goldbug stated cheerfully, "What now, Captain?"  
"Search for unique energy signature." the black and navy jet growled, "Goldbug, return to ship. Quick Fix, with me. Breakdown, with Vasquez."  
A ground bridge was opened remotely, through which Goldbug returned to the ship. Erika activated her armor's holographic function, giving her armor the illusion of being a white T-shirt, blue jeans, and a pair of combat boots. Breakdown transformed into his vehicle mode and opened one of his doors, allowing Erika to climb into the driver's seat so it would appear that they were just a normal pickup truck and driver. The two then drove away. Shortly afterwards, Quick Fix and White Noise took off and transformed. Two searching by land, two searching by air.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: I Blame You For This

_Subject: The New Guy  
Erika Vasquez  
To: Wheeljack_

Hey, Jack! You know how we were supposed to get a new teammate? Well, we did. His name is Goldbug and apparently he's Bumblebee's younger brother. Would you believe it? Anyway, I hope you're making progress with your research, though I might not understand it unless it has something to do with making things go boom. You know how it is. Like I always say, there's an explosion for every occasion. That is why I want a new arm with a cannon. You know that I'm not just an amazing pilot- I'm also an amazing shot and an expert at making things go boom. I should have a prosthetic arm with some sort of gun in it!  
I'm getting off-track again, aren't I? Well, BD picked out a cool vehicle mode. So did White Noise and Quick Fix. The only one I can't say has a cool vehicle mode is Goldbug. He picked a Gremlin. A _**GREMLIN**__! Just because something is old doesn't mean that it's awesome. At least he still runs. That's something, I suppose.  
I look forward to seeing what sort of neat and probably highly explosive invention you've come up with when I get back. Tell Dr. Chang and the Professor that I said hi!_

Ricky Vasquez saved the message to her headset's computer under the 'drafts' folder. She would send it as soon as they got back to the _Nameless_, since its computer could send messages from one universe to another, as long as the destination was somewhere on the Jumper homeship. That quick distraction out of the way, she returned to her façade of 'driving' Breakdown. She ran a quick scan of the immediate area once again, but there was no sign of a strange energy source. Since her headset's sensors weren't quite as fine-tuned as that of a Cybertronian's, Ricky decided to ask her partner. "Hey, B.D." She asked, "You picking anything up on your sensors yet?"  
"Not sure." Breakdown replied, "I though I might have picked something up a moment ago, but it could be nothing."  
"What if it's not nothing?" said Ricky, "What then?"  
"If it were something, White Noise would have both our afts for not checking it out." Breakdown replied, turning to take the fastest route to the energy source, "Allons-y, then!"  
"B.D., please." the human deadpanned, "No Earth languages."  
"We speak American English all the time." Breakdown replied with a note of humor in his voice.  
"Yeah, but we both have at least a vague understanding American English." Ricky said, a bit annoyed that the big guy was teasing her. Realizing something, the human smirked impishly and added, "You know, big guy, you're lucky I can keep a secret. I would _never_ tell the others that you're going soft on us."  
"I'm made of metal. I'm physically incapable of going soft."  
"Shut up and drive- OH HEY. Signal dead ahead. I think it's coming from that twerp over there." Ricky pointed at a little girl, around 8 years old, with brown skin and red hair. She was clad in a yellowish dress and matching boots. Around her neck hung a key-shaped pendant. She appeared to be minding her own business, doing whatever it is that normal human eight-year-olds do. It looked like she was waiting for something or someone. Discreetly, or as discreetly as a big blue pickup truck can, Breakdown pulled over nearby so they could observe the girl for a time. She did not seem to be paying attention to her surroundings. While they were waiting, Ricky pulled out her handheld scanner and ran a few more scans, narrowing down the source of the energy to the pendant around the girl's neck. "Yeah, it's definitely coming from her." Ricky whispered, "So, next move. We take detailed scans, right?"  
"Yeah, that's what White Noise said." Breakdown replied quietly, "Use your hand scanner, Ricky."  
The human Jumper fiddled with the settings of her hand-held scanner for a minute or so before holding up the scanner again and taking a few more scans. Above them, one of the clouds shifted ever so slightly to allow the sunlight just the right angle to cause the metal of the scanner to gleam brightly. Ricky hoped that the little girl would miss it, but the kid seemed to have glimpsed it out the corner of her eye. Slowly, the little girl turned to look at Ricky. The Jumper's brown eyes met the girl's red eyes for one, two, three seconds before the kid just bolted. Letting out a loud Cybertronian swear, Ricky flung Breakdown's door open and sprinted after the girl. Though Ricky's own five-foot, ten-inch frame granted her a longer stride than most of the shorter human women she had met, she had to admit that the kid was _fast_. As the kid ran around obstacles, Ricky easily jumped over them. Finally, she was able to catch up to the girl about a hundred yards from some random warehouse. Seizing the girl tightly by the arm, Ricky stood still, refusing to budge. "LET GO OF ME!" The girl shrieked, struggling in vain to break free from the iron grip of the stranger's armor-enhanced prosthetic arm.  
"Stop trying to run away, then!" Ricky snapped back, loosening her grip only enough to allow circulation in the girls hand.  
"You were pointing a gun at me!" The girl still struggled to break free. "Duh! Why wouldn't I want to get away from you! Lemme go!"  
"It wasn't a gun, it was a hand-held scanner." Ricky tried to explain, but a sudden blip on the scanner held in her other hand drew her attention. She brought the scanner up to look at it, and her eyes widened. She holstered the scanner and pulled the kid behind the nearest large, stationary object. "I need you to be quiet. Now." Ricky whispered, still holding the girl by the wrist. The girl opened her mouth to protest, but her words were cut off by the Jumper's other hand. "Something's coming. After I let you go, you have two choices: either you come with me and possibly live, or I take your key and you run off to probably die. Nod once for the first one and twice for the second one."  
The girl nodded once. Good. Ricky released the girl's hand and removed her other hand from the girl's mouth. "Smart choice, kid." said Ricky, starting in the direction of Breakdown. "Follow me. If we're lucky, we haven't been detected yet."  
The telltale 'wuzz' sound of someone uncloaking nearby was clearly heard. Lowering her head, Ricky sighed, "Aw, scrap. Kid, when I give the signal, we both run as fast as we can. Got it?"  
"Yeah." the little girl whispered back, "What's the signal?"  
"This. Now RUN!" Ricky took off running in the direction of Breakdown, the little girl close behind. The moment they began running, the enemy, one of **his** soldiers, began shooting. A loud shriek sounded behind Ricky as the little girl tripped over her own feet and fell on the ground. The black-armored mech smiled, revealing a mouth full of jagged teeth as it aimed at the little girl. Ricky had seen this weapon before. It would probably disintegrate the little girl, but leave the key unharmed. The Jumper was conflicted. Leave the girl and take the key before big, dark, and ugly gets to it or save the girl and the key from big, dark, and ugly. A split second was all it took. Ricky leapt at the girl, pulling her out of the way just in time to avoid the blast. Snatching up the girl in her arms, she then fled, continuing until a very surprised Breakdown was in sight. "B.D., we have to go!" Ricky barked, opening Breakdown's door and shoving the girl in before climbing in herself, "Contact Captain White Noise! One of **his** is here!"  
"You don't have to tell me twice!" Breakdown said as he closed his door and drove off. "Get your blaster and cover me!"  
Ricky deactivated her armor's holographic function, drawing a gasp from the little girl. Once the hologram was deactivated, the armor's helmet unfolded from the collar, finally closing around Ricky's head as the visor popped down with a snap. She reached back to search for her blaster. It wasn't there. "Oh, scrap."

* * *

Sari Sumdac watched with wide eyes as the woman's clothes fizzled out, revealing a set of purple and black armor. Emblazoned on the left chest plate was a Decepticon insignia with characters from some foreign, perhaps even alien, language underneath it. Things changed from unbelievable to unreal when the woman began to _transform_. Her head turned into some sort of robotic helm, complete with a glowing red visor. She had just followed a small Decepticon into a car, probably also a Decepticon. Now seemed like a good time to panic. Sari let out a loud, shrill scream as the black robot charged towards them. She was knocked around a bit as the pickup floored it, heading off at top speed. "You don't have to tell me twice!" The pickup-bot said, "Get your blaster and cover me!"  
The Decepticon-woman seemed to be searching for something for a while. She then let out a worried-sounding, "Oh, scrap."  
"'Oh, scrap' what?" the pickup-bot asked, "This isn't a good time for an 'oh, scrap', Ricky!"  
"It's not here!" Ricky snapped, "My blaster's not here!"  
"WHAT?" the pickup-bot roared, "Where is it?"  
"Probably still on the ship!" the she-Con groaned before asking, "Can't you go any faster?"  
"This is as fast as I can go!"  
"Contact Captain White Noise!"  
"I am! She should be here in-"  
The pickup swerved to avoid another black robot, who had landed in front of him, and another. "Three of them!" the pickup-bot groaned, "FML!"  
"Eff YOUR life? You're the one with a blaster!" argued Ricky before grabbing the steering wheel and shouting, "BREAKDOWN, TURN LEFT!"  
"SHUT THE FRAG UP AND LET ME DRIVE!"  
Suddenly, Sari became aware of her key glowing once more. It seemed to be tugging her in the direction of Ricky's arm. "Hey, lady!" Sari called out as she removed her key-necklace from around her neck.  
"WHAT?" Ricky barked as she whipped around to face the little girl.  
"Hold still." Sari replied as she brought her key towards the woman's arm, the one she had earlier restrained her with. A slot opened up in the arm, and Sari inserted the key and turned it. The seams of the armor glowed as something inside of the arm changed. The Decepticon gasped as something flickered across her visor. The arm reconfigured itself, transforming into what could only be described as a cannon. "Oh, _yes_." The woman half moaned, half whispered before whirling around and leaning out a now-open window to provide cover fire with the cannon.  
This seemed enough to delay them so that the pickup, Breakdown, could evade them long enough for what Sari hoped was their backup to arrive. A plane and a jet shot out of the sky, each transforming as it landed. The plane was a thin, red and white Autobot and the jet was a black and blue Decepticon who was, quite frankly, terrifying beyond all reason. The Decepticon jet transformed one arm into a blaster and shot one of the black bots in the face, blinding it before ripping its spark out with overdeveloped, razor-sharp talons. The red and white Autobot seemed to be holding off one of the other black bots rather well with what looked like a giant rotary saw. Breakdown suddenly lurched, and both Sari and Ricky were dumped onto the ground before he transformed into robot mode. Breakdown then drew a huge mace from out of nowhere and let out a bellow as he charged into the fray. Ricky pulled Sari some distance away. After about ten minutes, the sound of fighting finally quieted. The little girl chanced a look. The three black robots were now dead and gray, lying offline and in pieces on the ground. The black and blue Decepticon, whom to Sari resembled a giant, jagged bird of prey, stared straight at her. Red eyes met a red visor. A chill ran down the eight-year-old's spine. Was it her imagination, or had the Decepticon stared straight into her soul? Finally, after a long, unbearable silence, the terrifying creature broke her gaze and turned to look at Ricky. In a hoarse, rasping voice, the black and blue Decepticon said, "Explanation demanded."  
The smaller Decepticon transformed again, retracting her 'helmet' and showing that weird human face once again. Ricky glanced at the black and blue robot, then at Sari, and then at the black and blue robot again. She let out an awkward chuckle and said, "Captain, you know that energy signature we were sent to investigate?"  
"Affirmative." the Captain rasped back.  
"Well..." Ricky turned around and pointed at Sari, "Here it is."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Me Stereo

"Humor not appreciated," White Noise rasped, glancing down at the little human once more. She felt a sort of mild amusement when the child gave a slight shudder.  
"No, I mean it," Vasquez insisted. "The energy is coming from the twerp's key."  
White Noise stared silently at the little girl, contemplating what had been said. After a brief amount of time, she activated her comm systems and contacted the crew member that remained on the _Nameless_. "Goldbug, respond," White Noise said hoarsely.  
The Autobot responded immediately. "Uh, yeah," Goldbug responded nervously. "What do you need, Captain White Noise?"  
"Scan location," White Noise rasped. "Confirm source of energy."  
There was a brief silence, presumably Goldbug accessing the console and scanning the area. After a few minutes, Goldbug contacted White Noise once again. "There are two sources of energy: one near your location, one in a large body of water."  
White Noise glanced at the girl again. Good; the child had the good sense to be afraid of a Decepticon. Her optics zeroed in on the girl's key. How unusual, she thought. Then again, she mused, objects of surprising power often came in equally surprising forms. Now all that was left to do was figure out whether to take the key and the other source of power or leave them. Accessing her comm system again, White Noise grunted, "Goldbug. Access computer. Determine likelihood of removal's impact on timeline."  
There was more silence. This time, it lasted quite a bit longer. Finally, Goldbug contacted White Noise again. "Likelihood of energy sources' removal affecting timeline is at least 98 percent."  
"Contact available Jumper team," White Noise replied immediately. "Surveilance only. Intervene only if one or more of **his** attempts intervention with timeline."  
There was silence yet again as Goldbug contacted an available Jumper team. She could hear her crew saying something, but her attention was split between monitoring her surroundings in case of further attack and determining what the next course of action would be. When Goldbug responded, he sounded even more nervous than usual. "I've contacted Team You-Know-Who. They will arrive soon. Their team leader suggests that we meet with them further away from the city, on an island on the indicated body of water."  
"Acknowledged," White Noise replied. "Soon to be en route."  
She closed the channel and turned to address her crew, who had, thankfully, been listening to the conversation. "Quick Fix, transport Vasquez and human child to rendezvous point." White Noise ordered the medic before turning to Breakdown and adding, "Breadown, return to ship. Contact Goldbug. Request ground bridge."  
"Uh, sure, White Noise," Breakdown replied, apparently surprised to hear his captain speaking that much. His surprise was justified, White Noise decided. Such a long conversation was causing her damaged vocals to ache. White Noise observed Quick Fix head over to a clearing in front of the warehouse that Vasquez had captured the child near. Once there, he transformed and allowed the girl and Vasquez to enter him. Well, it would be more accurate to say that Vasquez had to practically throw the little girl into the Cessna before getting into the plane herself. Once his passengers had been secured, Quick Fix took off faster and with more efficiency than his vehicle mode would suggest. Of course, he maintained a safe speed out of consideration for the little girl. Once the medic had flown off, White Noise leapt to a great height and transformed mid-air before shooting off. What she had not noticed was that they were being observed from the shadows.

* * *

It had taken them longer than they had initially anticipated to arrive, mainly because they needed to avoid being seen. When they finally arrived at the island, White Noise transformed in mid-air yet again and landed on her feet. Quick Fix, on the other hand, landed carefully and allowed his passengers to exit before transforming.  
Noticing the little girl's continued discomfort, Vasquez ruffled the girl's hair with her knuckles and assured her, "Hey, twerp, don't worry. Mags won't let **his** guys hurt you, and Grim's actually a big softie. I think. Well, he likes me, anyway."  
"My name's not 'twerp'," The little girl replied, annoyed with the nickname. "It's Sari."  
"Whatever, kid," Vasquez said as the she followed the team in the direction of the rendezvous point. "Just don't antagonize him."  
After travelling for a time, they became aware of shouting near the rendezvous point. The group increased its speed to a run. When they entered the clearing, they beheld an almost comical sight. Two large, mechanical T-rexes were deep into a shouting match.  
"Me Grimlock _destroy_!"  
"No, _me_ Grimlock destroy!"  
"You not Grimlock! Me Grimlock!"  
"ME GRIMLOCK!"  
"Oh, for spark's sake!" A large red and blue Autobot shouted, catching the attention of all in the area. "Grimlock, do you really need to fight like this?"  
The two Grimlocks looked at each other, seemingly thinking the same thing. In perfect synch, they turned to the blue and red mech and, at the exact same time, said, "Yes."  
"Grimlock," a female voice spoke up. A red and black female Autobot, clearly a flier, carefully stepped in between the two arguing Dinobots and attempted to cool the heated situation. "Grimlock, you consider yourself a clever mech, don't you?"  
"Yes," both Grimlocks replied simultaneously.  
"Well, I'm sure that you're both clever enough to know that you are _both_ Grimlock, each from different worlds."  
"Me Grimlock know that!" Jumper-Grimlock replied defensively. "Him Grimlock not know that!"  
"Me Grimlock does too know that!" Grimlock argued back.  
"Grimlock..." The flier looked pleadingly at the two Grimlocks. "If you are both Grimlock, then you don't need to fight over who is Grimlock."  
"Fine." Jumper-Grimlock sulked, "Me Grimlock stop fighting. For now."  
The other Grimlock, on the other hand, had only just seemed to really look closely at the flier. After a moment of staring, he let out a low growl before saying, "Hurm. Jet-Lady pretty."  
"Her not pretty!" Jumper-Grimlock argued, "Her _Skydive_!"  
Sari and Ricky both facepalmed when Jumper-Grimlock said this. "Grimlock..." Ricky groaned.  
"That's not nice," said Sari. "You shouldn't say that to a girl! You need to say sorry so you can kiss and make up."  
"Me Grimlock not kisser! Me Grimlock _king_!" Jumper-Grimlock argued, then adding, "And me Grimlock not wear makeup!"  
"Me Grimlock maybe kiss Jet-Lady."  
"Fascinating!" A red and teal mech made himself known, adjusting his glasses-like visor as he watched what was going on.  
"Grimlock, stop fighting with Grimlock. Other Grimlock, please stop looking at Skydive like that. Skydive, stop glaring at our Grimlock. Perceptor, stop sneaking up on me like that," the red and blue mech ordered.  
"My apologies, sir," Perceptor responded, adjusting his glasses once more.  
"I'm not glaring at him," Skydive replied, clearly wanting to change the subject. "Sir, we should probably attend to the matter of our audience."  
"Ahem. Ah, yes." The red and blue mech stood up straight, turning around to address the little girl and the three members of Team White Noise. "I am Ultra Magnus. This is my second in command, Skydive." He gestured towards Jumper-Grimlock and Perceptor, "My other second in command, Grimlock, and our science officer, Perceptor. Our medic, First Aid, is still on the ship."  
"We Team Grimlock!" Jumper-Grimlock announced proudly, transforming into robot form and thumping his chest proudly.  
"Yes, Grimlock. Yes, we are." Ultra Magnus pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. He lowered his arms before looking at the little girl and addressing her. "Ahem. Little girl, we will be keeping an optic on you, watching out for things that are worse than the Decepticons you may meet in your dimension. For purposes of preventing further damage to your timeline, I have to insist that you speak to no one of our meeting."  
"Sir," Perceptor announced, "I hate to interrupt this clearly important conversation, but we have company on the way."  
"Right." Ultra Magnus decided. "Grimlock, Perceptor, Skydive, return to the ship."  
For once, Grimlock did not argue. He followed the others back onto the ship, which soon activated its cloaking mechanism. White Noise tossed Vasquez into the air and jumped after her, transforming around the human so she was safe in her cockpit. Fastening the restraints around the armored human, the intimidating femme took off quickly. Quick Fix leapt into the air and transformed mid-air as well before following his leader away. That just left Sari and a very puzzled group of Dinobots. With the knowledge that something was approaching, she shook in fear, afraid that her 'protectors' might have ditched her to be squashed by one of those bad guys from before. When a familiar black and gold ninja-bot emerged from the foliage, Sari let out a sigh of relief. Prowl was about to say something, but before he could speak, Sari said, "Don't ask. I just want to go home."  
And so ended another exciting day in the glamorous life of Sari Sumdac.

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

Today I met a few Autobots and some not-so-evil Decepticons who were apparently from another dimension. One of them, White Noise, was seriously scary. Like, scary beyond all reason. Another one looked like a Decepticon that turned into a human, but it turned out that she was just a human in crazy-advanced armor and I only upgraded her mechanical arm. By the way, there were also two Grimlocks. One of them totally had the hots for a flying Autobot named Skydive. I think she was embarrassed. It was seriously weird. At least I wasn't left alone with the Dinobots for long when they left. Prowl showed up. He said not to tell anyone about the Dinobots. I told him that my lips were sealed. I can totally keep a secret, right? It's really cool to have another big secret, but also really hard, especially when Bumblebee won't stop asking questions. He's my best friend and REEEEAAAALLY persistent, but I didn't crack!  
I hate having to be babysat by a bunch of strange Autobots from another dimension, but I guess it beats having bad guys even worse than the Decepticons after me.

XOXO 3 Sari Sumdac


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Two Weeks Later (AKA Six Degrees of Ricky Vasquez)

_Bumblebee,_

_I really think I might be falling into my niche here. It's been really interesting so far, especially considering the human, Ricky Vazquez. She is a very strange human. I asked her about a certain incident a couple weeks ago. Apparently, though she knows that humans are supposed to wear clothes, she has no idea why. I've also gotten really good at using the ship's computers. I haven't gotten a single complement from Captain White Noise, but I don't think that's unusual. I doubt that she often complements anyone. By the way, did you know that Ricky is friends with Wheeljack? That's really not something you'd expect, considering their differences. Wheeljack is an explosion-prone scientist and Ricky is a trigger-happy pilot/gunner. It's really weird, but I guess friendship doesn't always make sense. Either way, her risk-taking sometimes drives Quick Fix to his wit's end. Last week, while briefly stranded far away from the Jumper mainship, we were captured by Quintessons. Of course we escaped, but only after Ricky took on a pair of Sharkticons single-handedly. That human really loves that upgrade of hers. Thankfully, the Captain got loose and ripped apart a couple dozen or so of those sharky menaces and kept them at bay long enough for Quick Fix to open up a ground bridge. As far as speed goes, a Quintesson ship is no match for the_

_Nameless. Anyway, I hope to see you soon._

-Goldbug

"Behold, the Jumper mainship!" Ricky Vasquez bellowed as the massive ship finally came into sight. She had been waiting eagerly to return. This was partly because she wanted to reunite with a few friends and partly because she wanted the beat-up _Nameless_ to be repaired. All that was left to do was avoid two of the mechanics working on the Jumper mainship.  
"Vasquez, what did you do to my ship?"  
Oh scrap.  
"I said, what did you do to my ship?" The female voice repeated.  
Ricky slowly turned around to face a tan-skinned woman with dark hair and blue eyes. Well, there went her plans. "Oh, hey, Banes." Ricky replied as if nothing were wrong. "I didn't do anything to the _Nameless_."  
"Then explain to me, Vasquez, why the ship looks like it's been through a debris field and blasted with laser fire?" Banes asked, her voice eerily calm. Ricky knew that she was in deep trouble.  
"Well, that's because it was blasted with laser fire and flown through a debris field." Ricky replied awkwardly before adding, "But it wasn't my fault this time! We were shot at by Quintessons and chased through a debris field."  
"Quintessons? Really, Vasquez?" Banes frowned and placed her hands on her hips. "Last time, you raced through an asteroid field with another ship. The time before that, you were ambushed by a pod of ferrovorous space whales. The time before that-"  
The sound of numerous metal objects clattering against the floor resonated through the room. Ricky and Banes both turned in the direction of the noise. Standing there with a half-empty toolbox with a varied assortment of tools at his feet was a sheepish-looking, exceptionally small minibot. He couldn't have been much taller than six and a half feet. A bill-like protrusion, similar to that of a baseball cap, protruded from his helm. On his chin was one of those dark stripes that some mechs sported. Banes' blue eyes met the mech's red eyes as she frowned disapprovingly. Ricky took this moment of distraction to flee. Banes whirled around, watching the pilot's retreating back. She was well aware of the other woman's ability to avoid capture. The frown on her face now a full-fledged scowl, Banes whirled around on the blue mech and shouted, "Damn it, Wheelie!"  
"I tripped?" Wheelie offered as an explanation.  
"Just... pick up the tools, Wheelie." Banes ground out, burying her face in the palm of her hand.  
Wheelie brought his hand up in a mock salute as he replied, "As you wish, Warrior Goddess!"

* * *

"Heya, Jack!"  
The Professor glanced over his shoulder, pausing his project to observe the never-boring interactions between his colleague, Wheeljack, and the human, Erika Vasquez. He also noticed that his other colleague, Doctor Elizabeth Chang, was also paying attention to this. Of course, the Professor made sure to keep his observations subtle. It was surprising how subtle a 35-foot grey mech could be. On with the observing, then.  
The Professor watched quietly as Erika Vasquez approached Wheeljack and the mech quickly bent down and picked the human up. He then stood back up and placed her on the console near his workspace so he could more easily converse with her. What an unusual friendship, the Professor thought to himself.  
"So," Erika Vasquez said. "How's the project been?"  
"Well, I've managed to-" Wheeljack went into a slew of technical terms that, though clear as day to everyone else in the room, were obviously lost on the pilot.  
His speculation was confirmed as true when Erika Vasquez scratched her head and asked, "And that means?"  
"I'm inventing a new explosive device for you to use." Wheeljack simplified his statement.  
"You, Jack, are the mech." Erika Vasquez said with a wide, gleeful grin. "Can you do nothing wrong?"  
"Well, actually-" Wheeljack began before the human stopped him.  
"I wasn't being literal, Jack. Occasional borderline-catastrophic slip-ups aside, some day you are going to have to come to terms with the fact that you are at least twenty percent cooler than most other mechs."  
"Actually," Wheeljack interjected, "My core temperature is generally within the mean for mechs of my size and build."  
"Jack, 'cool' is a human slang term." Erika Vasquez deadpanned.  
"Ah, yes." Wheeljack said thoughtfully. "Your knowledge of human vernacular is increasing."  
"Smith taught me some of it." Erika Vasquez explained. "He was around before the Event. Only thawed eight years ago."  
"Right. Smith." Wheeljack said, his tone of voice impossible to identify. "You've spoken of him very often as of late."  
"Yeah." Erika Vasquez replied, "He's one of the only humans that doesn't think I'm weird."  
"The other humans still think you are that strange?" Wheeljack inquired, apparently concerned about his friend's inability to fit in among her own kind.  
"Yeah." Erika Vasquez said. "But the rest of those scrapheads can go unscrew themselves."  
"That's a very colorful way of putting it." Wheeljack said with a smile. Anyone who had met the human would see that she was not at all lacking in confidence.  
A loud beeping sounded from the earpiece that Erika Vasquez wore. She pressed a button on it and a screen-like hologram projected in front of her eye. She spent a few seconds reading the message before deactivating the hologram. She looked up at Wheeljack and said, "Gotta go, Jack. Smith needs to see me at the firing range."  
"Ah, yes." Wheeljack said, his tone once again unreadable. "I can't keep you from you responsibilities, can I?"  
Wheeljack picked up Erika Vasquez once again and set her on the ground. As she walked away, the Professor observed the other scientist gaze at the human's back with what could almost be described as longing. The Professor heard his colleague, Doctor Chang, whisper to him. "Is this what I think it is?"  
"It may indeed be, Doctor Chang." the Profesor quietly said back.

* * *

Breakdown did not consider himself to be a terribly boring mech. He wasn't as interesting as he was before he got his paranoia glitch fixed, but he still wasn't what he'd call boring. He didn't deal well with boring things. This, of course, was why he was down at the firing range. It seemed that he was not the only one here, either. Ricky was down here in her regular clothes, showing off her new upgrade and enjoying every second of blasting the scrap out of targets. Smith, a red-haired human with fair skin, didn't have as perfect aim as he usually did. No, he was too busy making goo-goo optics at an oblivious Ricky.  
Finally, after everyone got bored of shooting the scrap out of everything, they took a break.  
"So, Erika," said Smith, "I've heard that they upgraded the coffee synthesizer down at the Jumper bar."  
"Oooh, I love coffee." Ricky replied with a grin.  
"Maybe we could get coffee together?" Smith asked.  
"Nah." Ricky said. "There's a coffee synthesizer on the _Nameless_. I'm used to the coffee from that machine."  
Ooh, shot down. Breakdown smirked. It was highly amusing to see the gunner knocked down a peg or two. The idiot was way too full of himself. Breakdown wondered if Smith had ever been shot down. If not, then human females must be even more desperate than he thought. No wonder a then-sixteen Ricky tried to ditch the 'prom' thing that other humans her age invited her to. Probably to avoid males her own age. She instead tried to crash the whole thing with Sideswipe. Jazz nearly had a fit when he found out that the girl he had fostered for most of her life had technically taken Sideswipe to the prom. Breakdown hadn't been there when it had happened, but he had heard about it shortly after Ricky joined the team when she was 20. He hadn't believed the stories he heard about her at first. Not until he saw her outmaneuver space pirates. It was then that he knew that, though she had a mischievous streak, the woman was a fine pilot.  
"Are you sure?" Smith asked.  
"Of course I'm sure." Ricky replied. "I _live_ on that ship."  
"Doesn't it bother you?" Smith asked.  
"Does what bother me?" Inquired Ricky.  
"Working on a ship where half the crew, including the captain, is an alien." Smith replied.  
"Dude, did you really just say that?" an astounded Ricky asked.  
"Well, they are. Ugly, no-good traitor aliens too, or so I've heard." Smith said, defending his words.  
"Hey, hey!" Breakdown made himself known, "Standing right here."  
It was only then that Smith noticed the 25-foot mech that had somehow escaped his attention. The human went pale, his head no doubt filling with thoughts of horrible things that might happen to him. Really, Breakdown didn't want to waste time cleaning human parts from his foot or his mace, and Smith was too much a waste of time to shoot. It was then that Ricky once again came to his defense.  
"Smith, that is _completely_ racist." Ricky said, folding her arms over her chest.  
"No, it's not." Smith replied. "It can't be racist because they're aliens."  
"All right, it's specist, then." Ricky corrected herself, still glaring at Smith.  
"Still standing right here, fleshling." Breakdown said, announcing his presence one more.  
"Yes, I know." Smith said, finally getting his bolts back. "Don't you have places to be, people to probe?"  
Breakdown didn't react. Ricky beat him to it. The human female swung her fist hard into Smith's face, breaking his nose with an audible sound. The human let out a sound of pain, covering his nose as blood gushed out. With a betrayed look in his eyes, he fled. Breakdown looked back down at Ricky before he said, "Tempting target, isn't he?"  
"Oh, you have no idea." Ricky replied. Picking up a pair of audio insulators, she smiled wickedly before she chucked them directly at Smith's rear end. The human let out a yelp, and continued to flee.  
Ricky and Breakdown were both silent for a moment before Breakdown asked, "Are you sure you don't want me to shoot him?"

* * *

Rodimus Prime was in his office, once again fighting the fierce battle against one of his most dreaded enemies: paperwork. Just as he was about to wrestle another stack of data pads, he heard the beep of someone at the door asking to come in. Letting out a sigh, Rodimus called out, "Come in."  
The door opened with a 'fwoosh' and in stepped none other than Red Alert, brandishing his own data pad. Rodimus bit back a sigh and sat up, attempting to looks as leaderly as possible. "What is it, Red Alert?" Rodimus asked.  
"Sir, it's Vasquez." Red Alert replied.  
"Again?" Rodimus asked, holding back a faint smile. "What did she allegedly do this time?"  
"It is not _alleged_, sir." Red Alert said stiffly. "The security systems caught it on video this time."  
"Just tell me what she did, Red Alert." Rodimus said as calmly as possible.  
"Assault and damage of Jumper resources!" Red Alert declared, his voice going higher as he spoke more loudly.  
"Assault? This is serious. Who did she hit?" Rodimus inquired.  
"Harold Smith." Red Alert replied.  
"Well, there you go." Rodimus said. "Have you _heard_ some of the racist scrap he spouts about our kind?"  
"Specist, sir." Red Alert corrected.  
"You know what I mean." Rodimus said with a sigh. "Why does she always have to get into trouble?"  
"Sideswipe's influence, I'm afraid." Red Alert replied. "I told everyone that it would lead to no good, but did they listen to me? No, 'you're just being paranoid', they told me. But they were quickly proven wrong!"  
Rodimus mentally groaned as Red Alert launched into another one of his long rants. Said rant continued for nearly ten minutes before Rodimus semi-politely kicked Red Alert out of his office. Once the security officer was out of his office, the red and orange mech reclined back into his seat with a sigh. Then his door pinged. Again. This time, Rodimus did not bother to hold back a groan before he got up and walked over to the door. He pressed a button and the door opened with a 'fwoosh'. He was about to rebuke whoever it was for disturbing him while he was doing important paperwork, but his annoyance turned to delight when he looked down to see his old friend, Dan Witwicky. "Dan-O!" Rodimus greeted the human. "What brings you to my office?"  
"I heard that Ricky got in trouble again." The human spoke of his adopted niece. "Second thing, I'm forty-eight years old. Aren't I a bit old for you to keep calling me 'Dan-O'?"  
"Yes to the first thing, no to the second thing." Rodimus replied with a smirk.  
Dan let out a frustrated sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose briefly. After that moment was over, he lowered his hand and asked, "What did she do this time?"  
"She punched Smith." Rodimus replied.  
"The racist?" Dan asked.  
"Specist." Rodimus corrected. "But yeah. I didn't see the vid file yet, but I'm assuming she punched him."  
"Well, shall we view the vid file, then?" Dan inquired, glancing into Rodimus' office.  
"You got it, Dan-O!" Rodimus replied with a smirk.  
"You're doing this to annoy me, aren't you?" Dan sighed in annoyance again.  
"I will neither confirm nor deny that allegation." Rodimus said, the smirk never once leaving his face.  
"Rodimus, you're an asshole." Dan said with a half-smile. He couldn't stay mad at his old friend forever.  
"I will neither confirm nor deny-"  
"Let's just watch that vid file."  
After a few more minutes of banter, the two watched the vid file. After an argument with Smith, Ricky had indeed punched the man. This vid file also had audio, so they heard every minute of the argument. When all was said and done, Dan commented, "I admire Breakdown's restraint."

* * *

Cliffjumper did not think that the human traitor should have only gotten a few hours in the brig. If it were up to him, he would have had her locked in there for a few days. She was a human, but she wore the Decepticon mark on her armor. If that wasn't a traitor, he didn't know what was. He felt a little sorry for poor Jazz. The mech had taken care of the girl since Dan Witwicky entrusted her to his care when the girl was four. Under the influence of Sideswipe, she had quickly turned into a delinquent. Stealing the humans' restored automobiles at eight. Instead of punishing her, Rodimus Prime gave her a driver's license at the age of ten. In Cliffjumper's opinion, the human got away with way too much. Seven years ago, she was actually allowed to join the Jumpers. The delinquent with a history of theft. Then came the armor with the Decepticon mark. She did not change the mark to that of the Autobots. After she was assigned to a team led by a Decepticon five years ago, he still had some hope that she would turn out good. That was until she actually _befriended_ one of them! It was then that he realized what she truly was. Again, poor Jazz. He could not have taken the information that the young woman that he had fostered was a traitor well. Despite her dubious alliance, Cliffjumper could not find it in himself to truly wish ill of her. Traitor or not, she was still a human and he was still an Autobot. Still, he wouldn't hold out hope that she would reconsider her alignment. She'd no doubt eventually die at the hands of her Decepticon allies. She'd-  
"Hey, Cliff. Thinking Deceptiphobic thoughts again?"  
Cliffjumper scowled. It was Wheelie again. A Decepticon traitor. Though Wheelie now wore the mark of the Autobots, Cliffjumper was still smart enough not to trust him. He betrayed his own kind. How could anyone expect him to be loyal to the Autobots? How could-  
"Hey, Cliffjumper! I was talking to you!" Wheelie called out again.  
Cliffjumper turned around and faced the cycle-bot. "What do you want, Decepticon?"  
"Hey, there's not need for that, pal. I'm an Autobot." Wheelie replied with a frown. "Have been since just before the Event. And the name's Wheelie!"  
"Fine." Cliffjumper ground out. "What is it, _Wheelie_?"  
"You-know-who says that your team's ship is prepared." Wheelie replied, then glanced over his shoulder before glancing back at Cliffjumper. "Yeesh. You guys take worse care of your ship than Vasquez!"  
"What did you say, Decepticon?" Cliffjumper asked with a snarl.  
"Cosmos. Is. A. Bad. Pilot." Wheelie said slowly, as if Cliffjumper needed things dumbed down. He added, "Yeesh. What do I have to do, say it in rhyme?"  
"Just mute it, Decepticon." Cliffjumper snapped before whirling around and walking off.  
"Yeesh." Wheelie muttered as Cliffjumper walked away. "Who put sugar in _his_ gas tank?"

* * *

As Jazz watched Ricky board the _Nameless_, he was once again struck with how proud he was of his little girl. From the day she came into his care when she was four, to the day she left his care when she was eighteen, to this very day, it was hard to recall a situation wasn't proud of her. Well, maybe a couple, but that was entirely Sideswipe's fault.  
He recalled the day that Dan Witwicky had dropped her off on the Autobot mainship. It had been a lengthy process to decide who would be her caretaker. Jazz had been rather surprised when he was chosen. After that, he dealt with her crying every night for a week, saying that she missed her Uncle Dan. He tried to comfort her as best as he could. It wasn't easy, but eventually she warmed up to him. In the years following, it was dealing with scraped knees, other boo-boos, and loose teeth falling out. It wasn't easy, but he managed. One of the scariest parts happened when she was nine years old. He caught her stealing a car. She crashed. He could not describe how relieved he was that his little girl was not hurt. That had been a truly frightening experience. After that, he made sure that she was properly supervised when driving. When she was 10, she got her driver's license. He was so proud when that happened. Of course, the second scariest thing happened three years later. He woke up to Ricky's screaming and sat up too fast in his recharge berth, smashing his head, splitting the face plating just below his forehelm, and breaking a fuel line. It bled everywhere. He had enough time to grab a rag to absorb the liquid before he rushed over to Ricky's bedside. She had pulled her blanket aside and there was blood everywhere. He immediately picked her up and rushed her to the med bay. He could imagine First Aid's surprise and horror when two patients came in, each covered in blood. After sealing Jazz's wound, First Aid then provided both him and Ricky with an impromptu human biology lesson. Apparently, the bleeding thing was normal. They had to go to one of the human ships to get something called 'pads' and 'tampons'. It was strange. Everybody seemed embarrassed except for him and Ricky. Humans were very strange.  
One moment he was not so proud of was when Ricky took Sideswipe to the prom thing and they both crashed it. He would not deny that he had overreacted when he found out that Sideswipe made kissy faces at his little girl. It had only been a joke, but when faced with Jazz's fatherly wrath, Sideswipe was immediately cowed. There were no similar hijinks after that. Only regular, Red-Alert-infuriating pranks.  
He was very proud, however, when Ricky had been accepted into the Jumpers. He had overreacted then, too. Ricky was embarrassed. Looking back, he hadn't blamed her. Though he had a reputation for being one cool cat, he tended to lose it all when it came to his Ricky.  
Speaking of which. "Don't forget to send messages every day!" Jazz called out, half out of concern and half wanting to embarrass her. As the closest thing she had to a father, he felt that it was his right.  
"Jazz, I'm not even going to be gone for two weeks!" Ricky called out, annoyed at how ridiculous Jazz was being.  
"Make sure to eat your nutrient bars, then!" Jazz amended his statement.  
"Jazz, I'll be fine!" Ricky groaned in annoyance, "You know that! Why do you do this every time?"  
"Because I lovey-wuvy you, Ricky-wicky!" Jazz cooed loudly, his mischief showing clearly through the baby-talk.  
"Oh, go unscrew yourself, Jazz." Ricky groaned, her facial expression clearly one of embarrassment.  
Yes, Jazz thought to himself, he certainly did enjoy exercising his fatherly right to embarrass his little girl in public.


	6. Chapter 6

**All right, here's chapter six. For those of you who have been wondering, Alternate Timelines Wheelie looks like a more mature version of his G1 counterpart, only with a red optics and a blue paint job. He also turns into a motorcycle.**

Chapter 6: That's What She Said

Silverbolt sat down in a barstool at the Jumper Bar. Between his work on the jumper mainship and the trials of dealing with four younger sisters, he was nearly at his wit's end. Slingshot and Air Raid were very frustrating and Fireflight was absent-minded as usual. The only one he didn't worry about, Skydive, was on the same team as Grimlock. Grimlock! How was he supposed to not worry about things? To say he was stressed would be the understatement of the stellar cycle. So he was here, at the bar, trying to unwind through social interaction. That was why he was currently listening to another one of Kup's old stories. "And then," Kup declared, "I took an arrow in the- GWAAAH!"

The older mech's anecdote was interrupted by the room shaking from a disturbance somewhere else on the ship, possibly an explosion or a crash. Silverbolt immediately stood up and asked, "What was that?"

"I don't know." Kup replied, rubbing his chin. "It came from the wrong side of the ship for Wheeljack to have been involved. Shall we find out?"

Silverbolt nodded, and the two headed in the direction of where the noise had come from. When they arrived, there was a severely damaged Jumper ship in the docks. It was quite obvious that the ship had crashed. As they watched the medics wheel out the injured crew, they recognized the severely injured mechs- Cosmos, Springer, and Blaster. Blaster was only supposed to be there temporarily. It was well-known that Blaster was a part of another Jumper team, but exactly which team it was, was a closely guarded secret. Still, the fact that Springer and Cosmos were onboard quickly provided a conclusion. They knew who the captain of the ship was even before he was carried out of the ship. Simultaneously, Kup and Silverbolt both said, "Cliffjumper."

* * *

"Wheelie, what do you mean by 'it's totaled'?" Banes ground out, glaring at the orange minibot.

"Why are you mad at me?" Wheelie asked. "Cosmos is the lousy pilot who crashed the thing into the side of the Jumper mainship and Cliffjumper is the one who insisted on not having the ship checked out!"

"Wheelie, you should have told me that before they had left!" Banes replied, still annoyed that one of the ships in her care was wrecked. It didn't help at all that most of the crew was seriously injured. Whoever decided that Cliffjumper would make a good captain needed to be dragged out onto the docks and publicly humiliated.

"He asked for a different maintenance crew. I told him they were busy." Wheelie said with a shrug. "The only one that wasn't as busy had an other ex-Decepticon on it. The mech is a total Deceptiphobe."

"Wheelie, Deceptiphobe isn't a real word." Banes deadpanned.

"Neither is 'totes', but you still hear some of the human females using that fake word." Wheelie argued.

"Oh god, you're right!" Banes groaned, "I hate it when people say that!"

"I know, right?" Wheelie replied, "It's freaking annoying!"

"It's worse than-" Banes froze mid-sentence, realizing that Wheelie had changed the subject on her. With a frown, she placed her hands on her hips and said, "You bastard, don't change the subject!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Wheelie said resignedly, "Cliffjumper's a dick. We all know that. What can we do about it? Jack shit, that's what."

At this moment, Banes did something she almost never did. She admitted to herself that, for once, Wheelie was right. There was nothing they could do about Cliffjumper's bad attitude. All they could do was try to do their jobs. "Well, we've got other ships to take care of, don't we, Wheelie?"

With a smirk on his face, Wheelie replied, "Totes."

A half a second later, Wheelie had to duck to avoid taking a wrench to the face.

* * *

Many, many hours later, Wheelie and Banes finally found themselves off-duty. Of course, each of them went to the place where many people on the Jumper mainship went when they were off-duty: the Jumper Bar. Not a creative name, but that's what it was called. The two of them went separately, but neither was surprised to see the other there. As always, the Jumper Bar wad buzzing with gossip. Quite a bit of it involved Cliffjumper, his busted-up ship, and what possible repercussions he might face. Some were even pooling bets on whether it would be considered an accident or whether Cliffjumper would be ejected from the Jumper Corps. Either way, there would probably be punitive measures taken. Somebody had to be held accountable for this incident. At least Wheelie hoped it would, because, guess who would have to fix the ship after the investigation? Of course, that was providing that the ship was even salvagable. Jumpers weren't the only ones who had to work their rear ends off! Speaking of rear ends, Wheelie was enjoying the view of a certain human's rear end as she bent down to tie her boots. Nice. When the human stood back up, Wheelie turned away, humming innocently along with the Jumper Bar's house band and pretending that he hadn't been looking. Said human wasn't fooled for a minute. "You were staring at my ass, weren't you?" Banes accused the blue mech.

"Nope!" Wheelie replied innocently. "No ass-staring here!"

"You were totally staring at my ass!" The human female accused him yet again.

"I was not!" Wheelie lied. "It ain't my fault that you can't stop thinking about," he gestured towards his body, "This sexy 'thang."

"I'm not stupid, Wheelie. I know you well enough to know that you were staring at my ass and-" Her eyes widened when she saw the direction of Wheelie's optics, "Hey! Eyes up here, asshole!"

"You didn't say no to the sexy." Wheelie pointed out with a roguish smirk.

"Oh, screw you." Banes snapped.

"I'll do it if you do it first." Wheelie said jokingly.

"You're an asshole, Wheelie." The human female said with a sigh. "Now stop staring at my tits or I'll remove your interface cable with a cutting torch."

"Love you too, babe." Wheelie said, his joking tone clearer than ever. "OH, HEY! It's my song!"

The mech stood up and started busting out the silliest dance moves that anyone in the bar had seen in quite a while. This band was good, but nowhere near as good as the usual band. Too bad Blaster was injured. He was a member of the five-mech band. Their punk rock, pop punk, and alternative covers of pre-Event songs were kick-ass. When the band was finished, so was Wheelie. He sat down next to Banes, oblivious to the looks that everyone else had been giving him during and after his terrible dancing. The human female scooched away from Wheelie a little bit before asking, "Why do you always have to sit next to me?"

"Why, to protect your virtue!" Wheelie declared, mimicking puffing out his chest, "Who knows how many predatory mechs there are in this bar, just waiting to seduce you?"

"Wheelie, I can handle myself." Banes replied with a frown. She knew that Wheelie was joking, but he was still annoying.

"But one of the mechs here might be a pervert!" Wheelie mock-protested.

"Wheelie, the only pervert I see here is you." The human deadpanned.

Wheelie brought his hand over his spark dramatically, as if injured. "You wound me, dear Goddess!"

"Enough with the goddess crap!" Banes groaned, bringing her palm up to her face.

"But you're a total Hottie McHotterson!" Wheelie whined, "And you sound like you want to smite me!"

"Wheelie, if you're smart, you'll stop hitting on me." Banes said threateningly.

"I ain't no Wheeljack, but your wish is my command, Warrior Goddess!" Wheelie declared, standing up and giving a mock bow.

"Screw you, Wheelie."

"I will if you do it first."

"Shut up."

* * *

Goodness knows how Wheelie was able to get in the med bay, but somehow he managed. He confronted Cliffjumper about the ship. He got into trouble because of it. Troublemaking little man-child of a mech or not, he actually did care about his job. However, because of this, Banes was interrupted during one of her few and far between dates. A nice young man, if a bit jumpy. Samuel was his name. Sometimes she wondered if Wheelie did this on purpose. So, this is what led her to Wheelie's quarters, where he was under house arrest until next time he was on duty.

"Damn it, Wheelie!" Banes groaned. "Couldn't I just go through one date without you getting into trouble?"

"I can't help it." Wheelie whined, "He was being a jerk!"

"You didn't have to threaten him that way." Banes replied.

"He called Ratchet a traitor!" Wheelie snapped angrily.

At this, Banes went silent. She knew why this bothered Wheelie so much. Prior to the Event, Wheelie defected to the Autobots. When this happened, Ratchet was the first one to give him a chance to be useful. It was Ratchet who suggested that he find work as a mechanic, so he did. When Ratchet died, he made Wheelie promise to do something. What that promise was, Banes hadn't the slightest clue. What she did know was that Wheelie had developed a tremendous amount of respect for the medic. She knew that Cliffjumper accused pretty much everyone associated with a Decepticon, or even an ex-Decepticon, of being a traitor. He was just one big pile of bad attitude topped with a sense of paranoia to rival that of Red Alert. She'd heard that he was OK when around Autobots, but put him around a Decepticon Jumper and he would indeed be grumpy and paranoid. Maybe there was a reason he was like this, but Banes hadn't a clue what that reason was. Maybe a Decepticon killed a specific person that he cared for prior to the Event. Maybe he was just one of those bots who never adjusted to the largely faction-neutral nature of the Jumpers. She didn't know. Either way, she understood why Wheelie was this angry. "I understand." Banes said softly. She gazed at Wheelie, who looked so pathetic standing next to his Berth. She wanted to comfort him. So, she walked over to him and hugged him. To her moderate surprise, Wheelie hugged her back. She reached around and patted his back. "It's going to be OK, Wheelie."

Wheelie hugged her a little tighter, then loosened his grip a little. His hands drifted lower and lower until, they were on her rear end. And then he squeezed her butt a little. Banes reacted by hitting him with a nearby wrench and shouting, "Pervert!"


End file.
